Yesterdays feelings

2007-08-13T06:08:00.000-07:00

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im going nuts without my penknifes!!!

my babies missing!!! i dident even take photo with them...):

THINGS I G0TTA ACCOMPLISH!!!!

find my penkifes...
beg my mum 2 straighten my hair...
beg my dad not 2 buy a car...
find a perfect song 2 listen to...
sleep...
slim down!!!
i ate 2 much..walaw..
go shopping with ma friends!
break with boyfriend???? NOOOOOOOOOOO....
kill my mother...
nono... kill myself...
earn money...lawls
dunno ah...
very unsecure...
sigh.

13/8/2007 9.20pm

yesterdays feelings... stupid day

2007-07-28T01:23:00.000-07:00

yesterday i was so sad n frustrated n confused to even type something or 2 even go online or write in my blog or diary... today im feeling better... but not okay...

The first two periods was P.E. which we played the flying disc or sumthing.. then the nxt 2 periods was science so mrs soh was so funny cos she took out LEGO which only kids play... the bigbig ones... n i n aloysius was eating pizza's at the back... he gave me the crust.. which was very mean... then we had recess n shangerikept talking about her hair n johan... n ahmad... oh yeah... n victoria asked me 2 find a song which we gona move to for our dance for teachers day...then we had home economics which was boring cos the teacher was so short tempered.. so i ended up washing up n juz chopping the carrots cos we made bee hoon... then we had malay which was the best malay period i had in my whole life. cos when we reached upstairs n teacher asked us 2 take out our textbooks, i opened up my bag n i tought i saw a lizard but then i tought owen cld hav played a prank on me like a toy lizard, so i tried 2 puch it away. then when i tried 2 take my book the lizard moved... so i screamed... then teacher n shangeri n the 1e5 girls look at me cos i was sitting infront... then i screamed there was a lizard in my bag so we all stepped away from my bag... then teacher was like running out of the classroom. then we laughed n screamed n the rest of the class also was screaming but i guess they were just following wad we did... so teacher asked us 2 quiet down cos mr koh was below n asked sum1 to help me. in the end, saaid came n threw the lizard out of my bag.. then the 1e6 boys chased the lizard all around the place then they managed 2 kill it n throw it into the dustbin. so i went back 2 my seat n quickly grabbed me mly txt bk n pencil box cos i was scared if there was a mother lizard in there cos it was a small lizard that came out of my bag... i was also wondering where it came from... then the excercise we did nxt was fun too.. we had 2 continue a story from the txt bk... so it started from like the fisherman was at the sea in his boat. so we started from saaid then i think from dzul (1e8) started the fisherman finding the gorengpisang. then the goreng pisang was rotten n black. then safwan said the fisherman ate it n he became a zombie then everyone dies in the village the i said only the goreng pisang was left SO shangeri was the last 2 finish the story but she got nth 2 say. cos only the goreng pisang was left. but so sad i had 2 leave after that because of happy toilet. we had 2 take the air fresherner... then we had detention with mrs soh cause we were too noisy... so then it was after school...sigh...

Natalie and i had 2 present the happy toilet thing..so she was quite nervous... she kept jumping around... while i stayed there like a zombie... the person that came was was very pretty n like she was 19 years old.. she was more interested in the pictures not the presentation...from wad i noticed... so i and natalie were quite satisfied with it... so she had 2 go off for GB... n i was so happy at that time because ahmad had NCC... so that mean he was staying back until like 5-6+ ... so charmian was there... so i decided 2 hang out with her...cos they shangeri said she needed 2 do something for me yesterday...so i stayed back... then i n charmian waited for shangeri n then we went into the library which i got caught n then i got a kind of lecturing n then the teacher asked for my hse number cos i dident atted library for 4 weeks....so everything got sorted out n then i , charmian n shangeri sat down then went out... cos charmian wanted 2 see someone... then i met atika my niece in sec 2e5... then i got an sms from natalie saying that ahmad was right in front of her so i went up with charmian n shangeri... i saw him... he was the one wearing the red thing around this chest which i dun even know wad is that... so we hanged around from like 2 - 6.30... then i had 2 lie 2 my mum just 2 stay back.. i said i was doing some project(lie) which she bought n then i said i got caught with the library teacher ( which was true )... so then the 3 of us went down n sat at the chairs sticking out of the wall beside my classroom... then shangeri said she had 2 go... then ahmad was like rushing past here and there... so shangeri went home and i n charmian met natalie, wei yang and ri xin so we sat at the 3 leveled staircase at the parade square there... and natalie n charmian were looking out at the basketball guys... while i , ri xin n wei yang talked n talked... i was purposely asking wei yang whether he wanted 2 buy drink... so we went i n saw ahmad... again n again... then after all the drilling, i told charmian n natalie n they went off 2 look for ahmad... then me, ri xin n wei yang went to look for them... then we saw them at the chairs beside our classroom so i made my self comfortable n put all our bags there... then ahmad came out then, wei yang was like ' AHMAD !! AMIRAH LIKES YOU!!, SHE LOVES YOU!! MUACKMUACK! " then i was like... look at wei yang then look at ahmad then look at my legs...but then i was quite clam.. so then we took out bags... then we passed by the NCC room so they were like calling his name... then i heard heavy foot steps.. so i ran away... to my secret place... then i walked around then went back down.. where my friends were waiting for me...so then we went off...out of school... but we were walking SUPER slow... then i looked back.. n i saw ahmad.. cos his head wad like sticking out from the whole bunch of guys... then i went behind his group then natalie followed me... the we went 2 the market bustop... then his grp was infront of us... so she said she wanted 2 go bubble tea shop.. then i say ' wad if they go there?' then she said ' maybe they go prima deli..' so im like ' GO LAH. GO 2 PRIMA DELI. GO! ' then she said ' dont jinx it '... then really the went 2 bubble tea shop... so i was like... ' no.. im not going.. im going hm...' then she was like ' okay, i give me the money then i go buy' so i gave her.. then i went back 2 the market that path... then i saw... this familliar red bag.. very familliar... then i remember...it was..sabri.. and his mother.. i dident know wad i did nxt so i RAN to charmian n owen.. they followed me... the sabri saw me, i was almost crying... then ahmad and his group was walking past... so sabri was like STARE then he waved... i was like staring back for like 10 seconds... before i gave him an emotionless wave the i looked away... so i saw he stared back.. then he walked away with his mum... so i was like... walao... ahmad.. then sabri... nxt wad? meet yusri on the bus? sigh.. then i was like so frustrated... so i sat down at the sticking out seat... like the ledge... then i told charmian that if 143 came, she had 2 tell me... so i took out my phone juz sat.. my mum send me sms saying why i was not hm... cos by that time it was like 6.40... and i was so busted... so i just went up the bus without even saying gdbye 2 owen n charmian...so when i went up... ahmad also started walking...so i juz dident want 2 look at him...so i just went up the bus.... then i sat down... and then when the bus passed by tanglin..yusri went up the bus.. ARGH... stupid day lah... okay... ( 27-07-07 ) today is 28 - 07 - 07 - 7.33

so meaningful

2007-07-25T02:47:00.000-07:00

I wonder what to say,
for I'm also hurt
But I can't stand to see you this way,
Can I tell you what I'm feeling?

I do not want to cause more problems,
But I just want to let it out
I want to scream and fall apart in front of you,
Maybe then you'll see I'm not fine.

The problem is I'm to scared,
Because I want to know your reaction,
I want to fall apart in your arms,
I love you can't you see?

I want to help you,
Can you help me?
Are we there for each other,
I want to be with you,
But how do I tell you,
What I feel

so meaningful. wish he would just understand. how its like to be ME. im sorry.

sleepy happy day! (:

2007-07-14T06:28:00.001-07:00

LOVE!! today super BORING... sleep only at home. bt for once i nvr get scolding for sleeping so long... hahakz. I FINALLY found the song i was finding for years! (: soo happy,,, i feel so happy!! i was reading thru my sms from yusri n he was commenting on hw well i kiss... my face was damn red man.. hahas... n i love this song so much!!! TWIGGIES!! hmm... wish i can go at least a year with him! im so happy!! i also cant belive that i skipped sch 2 go out with him. hees... bt quite fun.. went 2 bedok <3, far east plaza,west coast park, imm n vivo! i wish i can go out with YUSRI every year/day of my short life!!
- 9.48 pm 14/7/07 (: i love yusri!!!

Pulau Semakau the dump island

2007-07-13T05:17:00.000-07:00

Today went to pulau semakau... the dump island... broke my promise 2 Jin Han to take photo...haiiz.. wuah, damn tired 2 even type... bt at least everyday must write sumthing in here... i introduced BUSTED to jia jun... haha... walao feel so guilty!!! i broke a promise! i still gt 5 birthday presents 2 buy! nxt wednesday going 2 the movies! not 2 be sarcastic, bt shangeri kept quiet the whole time when we reached back 2 school...lol. haha, took some...eh wait..a FEW, pictures... so i'll just post them at friendster lah...haha..my head giddy man.hoho...friday the 13th!(:
- 8.34pm 13/7/07

the song...

2007-07-12T04:26:00.000-07:00

I have nothing better to crap about cos i cant roller blade well n my hair is like a twig. so im juz posting the songs i wrote during the june holidays... its was meant for someone pathetic.. erm... some ppl refer 2 as ' 5 days '... lol.. and my ex's... here it goes... bt i cant sing.. (:

Separate the words long lost,
Like a winter moon without the frost,
You're an oxymoron.
You're a work of fiction.
And today I stand against the tide,
Because trust in you is hard to find.
You're a bad beginning.
And I'm not forgetting.

All the lies you told
The rules you broke
The tears I shed along the way
Because you never cared
You know you never could
And all and all
I know it now
My heart was broken
Broken by a girl that never was

Time and time and time again,
You stretch the truth to bring me in.
I'm falling for it,
I'm always falling for it.
But you're nothing but a work of art,
Paint on Canvas, you have no heart.
You want me hypnotized,
Lost inside those eyes.

All the lies you told
The rules you broke
The tears I shed along the way
Because you never cared
You know you never could
And all and all
I know it now
My heart was broken
Broken by a girl that never was

Everything I know about you,
Everything that I ever loved,
You made it up, It was a work of fiction,
And I can't bear knowing you aren't you.
So I'll let you go...
I'll let you--- go...
I've let you go...
Just--- go.

All the lies you told
The rules you broke
The tears I shed along the way
Because you never cared
You know you never could
And all and all
I know it now
My heart was broken
Broken by a girl that never was

cool it turned out nice. hee... enough 4 today! (: - 7.46pm 12/7/07

2007-07-11T02:57:00.000-07:00

TESTING TESTING. HELLO AMIRAH! LONG TIME NO SEE!

~~YOU~~LOVENATALIE